Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
