I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
