just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
