i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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