My room smells like vodka and shame
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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