i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
