Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
