I love black thongs
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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