This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
another moral hangover. fuck.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
