my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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