Dual....:-)
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize