Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
