i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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