p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
