How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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