If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize