sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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