you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
