You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
