I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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