Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize