We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
These tits shall not be calmed
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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