I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
