So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize