She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
