could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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