I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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