Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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