it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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