I wannas sexs uuuuu
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I didn't notice because vodka
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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