My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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