Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
