So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
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Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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