Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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