I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
