So drunk, too bad you don't want this
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis