Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i have a girlfriend

  (847): View more from Illinois

  if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  no

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  (630): i have a girlfriend (847): if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend? (630): no http://tfl.nu/0yu4
  Replies (40) Good night (5519) Bad night (1729)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???

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  (609): i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on??? http://tfl.nu/8had
  Replies (51) Good night (991) Bad night (4884)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.

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  (949): The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women. http://tfl.nu/zhxo
  Replies (22) Good night (6392) Bad night (3040)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.

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  (480): Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea. http://tfl.nu/itom
  Replies (2) Good night (2728) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?

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  (919): He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ? http://tfl.nu/856o
  Replies (12) Good night (1703) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.

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  (757): I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet. http://tfl.nu/keov
  Replies (8) Good night (809) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.

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  (719): Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes. http://tfl.nu/2pgh
  Replies (13) Good night (3402) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.

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  (541): Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule. http://tfl.nu/eokl
  Replies (28) Good night (3794) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.

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  (714): I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5. http://tfl.nu/iwbe
  Replies (2) Good night (402) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night

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  (248): So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night http://tfl.nu/96c5
  Replies (5) Good night (278) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I want your cock.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd

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  (904): I want your cock. (910): All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd http://tfl.nu/l1ri
  Replies (11) Good night (848) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.

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  (204): NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees. http://tfl.nu/cysh
  Replies (1) Good night (464) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.

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  (814): Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn. http://tfl.nu/bgu3
  Replies (2) Good night (428) Bad night (205)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?

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  (303): Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail? http://tfl.nu/afmp
  Replies (3) Good night (763) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me

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  (413): alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me http://tfl.nu/w53h
  Replies (3) Good night (485) Bad night (204)

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