we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
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Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.