Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home

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  (416): Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home http://tfl.nu/32l0
  Replies (54) Good night (28050) Bad night (2941)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.

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  (678): I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather. http://tfl.nu/h2z1
  Replies (45) Good night (605) Bad night (7058)
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  (669): View more from California

  sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall

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  (669): sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall http://tfl.nu/w8x8
  Replies (24) Good night (1419) Bad night (4825)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker

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  (304): please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker http://tfl.nu/hr9i
  Replies (15) Good night (1323) Bad night (4237)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Miracles do happen.

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  (541): I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now. (1-541): Miracles do happen. http://tfl.nu/zv9s
  Replies (13) Good night (4330) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays

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  (908): It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays http://tfl.nu/4h3r
  Replies (8) Good night (980) Bad night (3119)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"

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  (708): did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement" http://tfl.nu/nqth
  Replies (3) Good night (2007) Bad night (1289)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.

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  (250): I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk. http://tfl.nu/fti6
  Replies (9) Good night (3103) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.

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  (262): Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head. http://tfl.nu/w9hs
  Replies (19) Good night (2865) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one

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  (978): Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one http://tfl.nu/zma0
  Replies (13) Good night (2276) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.

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  (803): Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class. http://tfl.nu/uw6v
  Replies (5) Good night (1063) Bad night (1362)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.

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  (317): SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON. http://tfl.nu/7e01
  Replies (3) Good night (1095) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead

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  (850): My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead http://tfl.nu/ahqq
  Replies (2) Good night (535) Bad night (1297)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down

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  (613): Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down http://tfl.nu/70sk
  Replies (2) Good night (369) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.

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  (630): you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way. http://tfl.nu/lvrh
  Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (356)

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