Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him

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  (281): I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him http://tfl.nu/1o2o
  Replies (2) Good night (1255) Bad night (692)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers

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  (203): Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers http://tfl.nu/86dj
  Replies (11) Good night (849) Bad night (4261)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free

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  (312): It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free http://tfl.nu/rz6v
  Replies (5) Good night (911) Bad night (3649)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits

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  (662): The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits http://tfl.nu/a8f8
  Replies (15) Good night (5262) Bad night (1394)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview

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  (731): i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview http://tfl.nu/woj8
  Replies (22) Good night (4068) Bad night (1397)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.

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  (954): i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar. http://tfl.nu/rj0l
  Replies (13) Good night (1193) Bad night (3893)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.

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  (713): After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad. http://tfl.nu/y2nw
  Replies (4) Good night (2671) Bad night (1092)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.

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  (727): I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing. http://tfl.nu/glhc
  Replies (68) Good night (836) Bad night (7252)
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  (631): View more from New York

  he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing

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  (631): he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing http://tfl.nu/xi7n
  Replies (10) Good night (2012) Bad night (1323)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table

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  (603): therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table http://tfl.nu/r83g
  Replies (3) Good night (1702) Bad night (1379)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold

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  (916): Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold http://tfl.nu/79ln
  Replies (14) Good night (921) Bad night (1522)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA

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  (516): Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA http://tfl.nu/40i2
  Replies (2) Good night (1214) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.

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  (503): That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it. http://tfl.nu/se2i
  Replies (4) Good night (581) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding

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  (205): i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding http://tfl.nu/mji7
  Replies (3) Good night (357) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons

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  (858): Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons http://tfl.nu/vmtj
  Replies (1) Good night (549) Bad night (263)

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