glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt