just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.