I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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