i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
