You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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