well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
PANTIES FOUND
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
