He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
