I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
