i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
