my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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