New low: just hacked my moms facebook
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize