tell your sister to shave her snatch
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
