I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
