How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
