More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
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