I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
