Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
