something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
