I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
