Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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