is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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