508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
